The maid of honor just puked.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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