Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So drunk its hurt
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
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I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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