3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize