He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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