i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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