Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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