he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
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Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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