When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize