I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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