u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
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He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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