yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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