look no pants
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize