Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize