i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
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