Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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