If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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