i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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