He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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