HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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