Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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