I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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