If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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