What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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