I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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