yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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