You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Please don't give away my fajitas
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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