She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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