My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize