what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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