I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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