Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize