she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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