I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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