Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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