I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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