I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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