I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize