I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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