hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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