i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize