I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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