oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize