if you like me you must not know who I am
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
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