he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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