1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it's like iHOP with fire
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize