It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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