Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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