I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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