I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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