happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize